What if we didn’t fall into the trap of leaping towards one extreme or the other in the new year’s resolution frenzy – the fantasy you can become the perfect version of yourself or the ‘why bother’ it doesn’t work brigade.

What would it be like to play with Self Compassion and balance as you step into 2018 instead? Won’t this lead to self-indulgence, self-pity, and turning into a lazy-lump? What about new year’s resolutions and seizing the the day?

The self-compassion that I’m thinking of very much invites you to be aware of living your life fully and is not about zoning out and turning into a mushy version of yourself. It is about balancing love and will, challenge and support.

One way of doing this is to ask yourself

 Where do I need to step towards my growing edge? That place that may get me all unsettled but I know is really where I need to be going? And, how can I be truly kind towards myself and support myself as I do this?

Equally, where are there already challenges in my life that I need more support to face?

Balancing ‘love’ and ‘will’ as a compassionate act is also a great acid test for any venture –  ‘does this need me to lean in to my ‘will’ more? Is that a loving thing to do for myself and others? Or, is this the time to practice loving acceptance and use my will to do this without numbing out?

If these questions feel meaningful to you, you could use them to journal about key areas of your life.   Here are some prompts you might want to play with:

Begin by choosing a key area you would like to reflect on e.g. My relationships     My children      My work      My home      My politics      My creativity      My core values

Get a pen and paper and set aside 20 minutes.  Look at the questions below and write whatever answers come to mind. Don’t judge or censor the answers, you can always delete or burn your responses later.


 If I could feel the hand of support on my back,  this is what I’d love to have happen …..

When 20 minutes is up complete these 2 sentences

  1. I now know…
  2. My first step will be…

OR If prefer to work with a series of questions

Ask yourself

What image comes to mind when I think of the area in my life I  want to attend to ?

Hold this image in mind as you ask these questions


What does this image show me what wants to shift?

What do I need to accept and given compassion to, to enable this shift to occur?

 What support would allow  the challenge/opportunity to be met with more ease?

How will I put my will behind this in a loving way?

And finally –  Is there a phrase, image, alert I need to put up somewhere to remind myself to do this?